A long goodbye

Carrying this burden under my heart.

Seems so heavy compared to a babe.

Praying, dreaming, wishing and hoping.

 

Carrying this weight on my soul.

Seems so heavy, un-redeemed.

Praying, pleading, living and dying.

 

Carrying this secret in my hands.

Seems to be stained into the bones.

Washing, scrubbing, and hiding.

 

Carrying the pieces of a broken heart,

Seems to be falling through my

fingers, crying, weeping and sighing.

 

Carrying you is a burden I bear.

Seems I don’t mind the weight.

Loving, living, laughing and being.

 

Carrying is serving, it is what we do.

Seems He carries me first, who knew?

Redeeming, bleeding, rising and living.

 

Advertisements

29 Comments

  1. March 16, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I read this as the heart’s cry of one who has been through a traumatic event, which has never been properly addressed or confronted. It has become a great burden only partially relieved by prayer.

    • shanyns said,

      March 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

      Kerry – I love your take on the poem. Thanks for coming by. And you have great insight!

  2. Laurie Kolp said,

    March 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Great perspective poem, Shanys. I think it’s about how we carry our burdens with us but when we give them to our Higher Power, we’re able to enjoy life.

    • shanyns said,

      March 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

      Laurie – Thanks for coming by, I like your take on the poem. Your comment is very wise.

  3. March 16, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Beautiful. The pain of the human condition. I agree with Laurie, it isnt so much the burden, as it is how we decide to carry it. Anyone who can write a poem like this is carrying it well. I love the line that says “He carries me first, who knew?”

    • shanyns said,

      March 16, 2012 at 5:41 pm

      Sherry – thanks for your thoughtful comment, and yes you are right. It is how we carry it, rather than the weight of it. And taking help when offered…so glad you came by.

  4. March 16, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    Yes, it is a beautifully written piece of the burdens we carry in life. We can fall under their weight or stand up and move forward. Nice job!

    My first post on Real Toads was wrong…this is the correct link for this challenge.

    http://confessionsofalaundrygoddess.blogspot.com/2012/03/kaleidoscopic-spiral.html

    • shanyns said,

      March 17, 2012 at 2:15 am

      Susie – thank you so much for coming by, and for the thoughtful comment. You are right. Thanks for the correct link for your poem.

  5. March 17, 2012 at 2:46 am

    It isn’t always easy to accept help, but when we ask for help from a power greater than ourselves, it isn’t as difficult. Then “rising and living” becomes possible.
    K

    • shanyns said,

      March 17, 2012 at 2:07 pm

      Kay – you are so right, and worded it so well. Thanks for sharing, and for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed your read.

  6. Margaret said,

    March 17, 2012 at 3:23 am

    It is truly amazing how MUCH of a “burden” we can carry for love. And sometimes the burden becomes a precious gift. This was a beautiful poem.

    • shanyns said,

      March 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm

      Margaret – thanks for coming by. And you are so right, love can carry a lot can’t it? So glad you enjoyed the poem.

  7. Other Mary said,

    March 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    I just learned that a friend experience a miscarriage. I think this poem would really speak to her, although not yet. You’ve touched something deep, and left it open enough to speak to many in different situations.

    • shanyns said,

      March 18, 2012 at 2:56 am

      Oh Mary, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. That is a heartbreaking loss. My prayers for her. Feel free to share when she is ready. Thank you for coming by and sharing.

  8. hedgewitch said,

    March 17, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    There’s a lot of subtlety here, a lot of what it’s about being a woman, wife, mother, human–the weight of others’ happiness, their needs and well being, always part of everything we do–the repeating structures here make the poem much stronger, the beginning and ending lines of each stanza, etc– maybe just as all those repetitive tasks, and all the carrying, make us stronger.

    • shanyns said,

      March 18, 2012 at 2:57 am

      🙂 You are wise! It is true, the carrying can make us stronger. Thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts. So pleased you enjoyed the poem.

  9. Herotomost said,

    March 18, 2012 at 12:55 am

    Oooo yeah! Heavy, like looking at a piece of the world through a paper towel tube all your life and then realizing that your view is far too tight for your own soul. The last lines of each stanza are really good and add a very cool structure.

    • shanyns said,

      March 18, 2012 at 2:57 am

      Exactly…I like your take on this. Thanks for sharing. So glad you enjoyed the read, and I’m very happy you stopped by.

  10. March 18, 2012 at 1:34 am

    Shanyn, this is strong in the way you use the four very expressive words listed at the end of each stanza.

    “Carrying this secret in my hands.

    Seems to be stained into the bones.

    Washing, scrubbing, and hiding.”

    This felt very vivid and gritty in a to-the-bone way to me. Great job!

    • shanyns said,

      March 18, 2012 at 2:58 am

      Hannah – thank you! Great that you took that away from reading my poetry, and so wonderful that you shared it. Thanks for coming by.

  11. zongrik said,

    March 18, 2012 at 5:18 am

    subtle yet strong

    anything but

  12. runawaysentence said,

    March 18, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    heavy, but you wouldn’t give up that burden for the world. no way.

  13. ed pilolla said,

    March 28, 2012 at 2:47 am

    a lot of strength you evoke. a second wind can’t come soon enough.

    • shanyns said,

      March 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm

      Ed – that is so very true. That second wind is so needed! Great that you stopped by.

  14. Storm Rider said,

    March 31, 2012 at 3:41 am

    Deep stuff… well done

    • shanyns said,

      March 31, 2012 at 1:19 pm

      Thank you, it is a heart deep place I wrote from. So glad you enjoyed, and thanks for coming by.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: