Off Line

“Today is the day we say good bye, right Mama?” asks a sad little voice.

Searching for photos, remembering stories, smiling and remembering.

Hurt and sick for so long it seemed, up and down, up and down.

Gone now.  At peace. Except for us. Still here.  Remembering.

 

“Remember when Nana…” and then “That time with Diana…” he says.

Searching for her voice. Listening for her laugh. Sad remembering.

Computer logs on. Seeing your profile.  ‘User is offline.’ I start to cry.

Offline. Peeking out heaven’s back door at us.  Gone. We remember.

 

What can you say, to a life lived so full?  What can you say to him?

“Nana loves you. Even when you can’t see me I love you all the time”

That book worn almost to pieces, her first to him. His favorite still.

“Nana we love you. Even when you can’t see us, we love you all the time.”

 

Missing my dear Diana, Luke’s Nana.

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20 Comments

  1. brian miller said,

    July 17, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    hugs. heavy heart in reading this…the loss is palpable…the user is offline is a hard reminder…i am glad though you have those memories and stories to keep her by though…

    • shanyns said,

      July 18, 2012 at 1:01 am

      Brian – thanks for coming by my friend. And I appreciate the hugs too! We did share some good stories today, it was nice in a sad way.

  2. butterflybiblestudies said,

    July 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Bless your heart girl! Here’s a big hug for you ! The Hope that we have is so amazing, but we are so human (God created us to search and find His Hope, and to feel with all our hearts). What a sweet and great picture you shared with your heart thoughts. A wonderful visual memory. Thanks for sharing with us! Pam Mosher

  3. Grace said,

    July 18, 2012 at 2:20 am

    What a heartfelt piece ~ May you always feel her love and light ~

    Hugs and love to you ~

    • shanyns said,

      July 21, 2012 at 4:21 am

      Grace – thank you. We won’t ever forget her.

  4. July 18, 2012 at 2:40 am

    This touched me so deeply. That little detail about the computer really got to me. I think this demonstrates how descriptions can just make it come alive.

    • shanyns said,

      July 22, 2012 at 6:08 pm

      Victoria – thank you for coming by, I appreciate your comment.

  5. Daydreamer said,

    July 18, 2012 at 4:06 am

    Very moving poem! I remember logging on one day to a message saying “I’m sorry but (my friend) passed away in a car accident a week ago.” I remember thinking it must be a joke. I even put an angry status message up saying stop playing. Turned out not to be a joke and her husband just wanted her friends to know. He said he’d keep the account open in remembrance of her. So now, when I log on, I see “user offline”.

    • shanyns said,

      July 21, 2012 at 4:22 am

      That is cool that her husband did that, but must have been startling too. Thanks for coming by.

  6. Laurie Kolp said,

    July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Very touching. I have a few friends who have passed away, but their FB page is still there, so I get reminders on their birthday. It’s creepy to me, but some find comfort in it.

    • shanyns said,

      July 21, 2012 at 4:23 am

      Laurie – I can see how that would be a bit creepy, and yet it is good that we are reminded of them too. Thanks for coming by.

  7. Susan said,

    July 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    “Gone now. At peace. Except for us. Still here. Remembering.”
    and sharing so fine!
    “Computer logs on. Seeing your profile. ’User is offline.’ I start to cry.
    Offline. Peeking out heaven’s back door at us. Gone. We remember.”
    Me too, Me too.
    Thank you for this poem which reminds me that those in my life who have died still love me. Lovely picture. Hugs.

    (Today I link you to an older poem that I may choose for this week’s “favorite written this year.” It is on the internet experience you note above.)

    • shanyns said,

      July 21, 2012 at 4:24 am

      Thanks for sharing your older favorite, and for coming by. I appreciate it.

  8. markwindham said,

    July 18, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    no fair making grown men cry. good write for a sad subject. three years later and I have still not written anything about my mom. This is well done.

    • shanyns said,

      July 21, 2012 at 4:24 am

      Oh Mark, so sorry that it hit you like that. I am glad that you enjoyed the poem, still sad for your loss. Thanks for coming by.

  9. Mama Zen said,

    July 18, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    This is so moving! I can feel this.

  10. July 20, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Oh, what a sad time. I can well imagine seeing ‘user offline’ would bring about tears. That is a lovely photograph. I always try to think that: ‘Even when you can’t see me, I still love you all the time’
    Very touching post Shanyn

    • shanyns said,

      July 21, 2012 at 4:25 am

      Thanks. She was a big part of our lives in many ways. She won’t be forgotten. Glad you enjoyed the poem. Thanks for stopping by.


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