Sundown sound

Earl Sundown

 

Somehow I’ve learned how to listen

To the sound of the sun going down.

The quieting as night gathers round.

Animals and birds going to ground.

Harvest night’s golden crown.

 

Hearing clouds quiet gatherin’

As they echo the sunlight sound.

Somehow I’ve learned.

 

Dancing birds in flight huntin’

Engine ticks quietly cooling down.

Boots crunching stubbled ground.

Somehow I’ve learned.

 

A rough rondeau, as we take up the challenge from Tony at dVerse. Thinking of Flander’s Fields and the coming Remembrance Day I am reminded of those who were told to stay home and tend the farms so that there would be food for those left home and those far away in fields of war. Β The image and quote is by my husband, and wonderful if shy, poet in his own right.

 

 

 

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41 Comments

  1. brian miller said,

    October 24, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    listening to the sound of the sun going down…nice…i like that much….it is a place of peace when the day is done….well done to form…the last stanza is a variation, dropping 2 lines….cool you played off something your hubs said as well…

    • shanyns said,

      October 24, 2013 at 10:24 pm

      I love that line of his! πŸ™‚ Glad you liked it. Thanks, I tried to make it flow without being forced. Probably the reason the variation for the last stanza happened – the words were not working right πŸ˜‰ I may try again later to see if I can do a full rondeau!

  2. October 24, 2013 at 10:29 pm

    A lovely use of the form, Shanyn; a wonderful concept to hear a sun setting, imagining it hisses softly as it spreads its flame petticoats across the smiling face of the horizon. You finished the prompt in record time, it seems; creativity can be shoved into a time slot, and still emerge resplendent.

    • shanyns said,

      October 24, 2013 at 10:52 pm

      Thanks Glenn, I was wondering what to do when I remembered the line and photo my husband shared last night. So I borrowed it for inspiration, and a start. Like sourdough πŸ˜‰ Glad you enjoyed it! πŸ™‚

  3. ManicDdaily said,

    October 25, 2013 at 2:39 am

    Just yerrific. All the sounds– engine ticks especially mixed in with eht animals felt like a sundown symphony. Very well done. k.

    • shanyns said,

      October 25, 2013 at 2:53 am

      Thanks πŸ™‚

      • ManicDdaily said,

        October 25, 2013 at 3:26 am

        I meant Terrific==I am working on an iPad in a hotel! With bad vision! Loved the poem. k.

      • shanyns said,

        October 25, 2013 at 3:58 am

        πŸ™‚ I guessed that was what you meant, and thank you so much!

  4. nico said,

    October 25, 2013 at 3:05 am

    This is so beautiful, so peaceful. I’m heading off to bed, and what a wonderful close to the evening. Nicely done!

  5. October 25, 2013 at 4:43 am

    Wonderful rondeau.staring with the citation was a brilliant choic and the imagery of a farm is so beautyful

  6. Bryan Ens said,

    October 25, 2013 at 4:49 am

    Wow. Love the imagery of hearing the sun going down. Beautiful poem!

  7. Rowan Taw said,

    October 25, 2013 at 5:51 am

    Those first two lines immediately brought a sense of relaxation, and the whole was a treat to read.

    • shanyns said,

      October 26, 2013 at 2:57 am

      Ah that is so good to hear! So glad you enjoyed it.

  8. Tony Maude said,

    October 25, 2013 at 7:07 am

    Thanks for this truly relaxing, peaceful poem, Shanyn. You’re already aware that it’s not quite to the strict rondeau form, but I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again … form is a skeleton to hang your words on, not a straitjacket to restrict your creativity.

    Your husband’s opening line is beautiful.

    • shanyns said,

      October 26, 2013 at 2:59 am

      Thanks Tony – glad you enjoyed the rough rondeau. And I like the skeleton, I’m not so good with straight jackets! And I’ll be sure to have him read the comments, he’ll be pleased.

  9. hypercryptical said,

    October 25, 2013 at 7:52 am

    The quote is indeed beautiful and your following words do justice to them.
    We should listen to our world more…
    Anna :o]

    • shanyns said,

      October 26, 2013 at 2:59 am

      I agree, we can hear so much if we are quiet to listen. Thank you so much πŸ™‚

  10. October 25, 2013 at 8:29 am

    Nice lesson for all : to listen to beautiful songs of life and nature.

  11. aprille said,

    October 25, 2013 at 10:35 am

    Ah, a new invention: the rough rondeau.
    What could be better than an update to this stilted archaic form.
    And I like the evening falling slowly into a slumber, almost like Sleeping Beauty.

    • shanyns said,

      October 26, 2013 at 3:00 am

      Thank you Aprille πŸ™‚ Love your poetic comment!

  12. October 25, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    A rough rondeau – how cool! A lovely, relaxing poem…. πŸ™‚

  13. Kevin said,

    October 25, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    Awesome job mi amiga!

  14. vbholmes said,

    October 25, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    Lovely–from your husband’s sensitive first line to your introduction of sound into the last stanza, you’ve painted a beautiful picture of evening.

  15. October 25, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Wisdom is a lovely thing. That is what I read.

  16. October 25, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    I like that you used your husband’s words as a muse for your writing ~

    Have a good day Shanyns and see you tomorrow, smiles ~

    • shanyns said,

      October 26, 2013 at 2:49 am

      Thanks! πŸ™‚

      And yes tomorrow… πŸ™‚

  17. Susan Chast said,

    October 26, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Those who stay at home also serve … thank you for this.

  18. October 26, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    Very peaceful writing…theme and form.

  19. Akila said,

    October 28, 2013 at 6:48 am

    Very beautiful. the refrain is very evocative!

  20. lynndiane said,

    October 29, 2013 at 2:22 am

    I’m learning to listen…and what better place to hear the sunset than on the farm (and my farmer would agree, in the seat of a John Deere)! A safe harvest to you!

    • shanyns said,

      October 29, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      And a safe harvest to you! Thanks so much for coming by.

  21. October 29, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Good use of that form.


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